[SATIRE] Fixing Allegations Surface as MI Win Book Cricket IPL; Virat Blames Paper Quality

Mumbai. Rohit Sharma led Mumbai Indians have won the inaugural Kindle Reader Indian Premier League (KRIPL). In the final of the book cricket version of the IPL, organized over a WhatsApp video call on the Reliance Jio network, MI defeated KKR by 27 runs to win the world’s first ever professional book cricket tournament.

With the nation under lockdown indefinitely following the Coronavirus scare, the BCCI recently decided to organize a book cricket version of India’s favourite summer extravaganza to recuperate part of the losses incurred as a result of IPL’s abandonment this year.

BCCI Joint Secretary Mr. Jayesh George said, “Considering the way IPL cripples the entire nation every summer, we felt KRIPL was a very apt name. And going by the popularity we are now seriously considering a book cricket version every year, in addition to the regular IPL!”

For the uninitiated, book cricket is an indoor version of cricket, played primarily by nerds and geeks, in which players open a book every time an imaginary ball is bowled. The unit’s digit of the even page number opened is the run that the batsman scores off that delivery. For example, if the batsman opens page number 46, then 6 runs are added to his tally. In this way a batsman can score 2, 4 or 6 runs in book cricket. If the page number ends with an 8, it is considered a single run. And the batsman is given out if the page number ends with a 0. The batsman also has an option to not open the book for a given delivery, which is then considered a dot ball.

However, like IPL every year, this year’s KRIPL too has now been marred by widespread allegations of unethical practices. Delhi Capitals leg spinner Amit Mishra set tongues wagging late on Sunday evening, right after the final ended. In a cryptic tweet, Mishra apparently attempted to raise allegations of fixing and wrongdoing, although it wasn’t immediately clear who he was hinting at.

Clarifying his position, Mishra, when contacted regarding the tweet, said, “There was a time when Mumbai were almost out of the tournament, and then, like every year, they suddenly started winning everything! They were scoring only 4s and 6s. If not a bookmark, how else do you explain this?”

Another player who is very active on Twitter, Jimmy Neesham from the Kings XI Punjab, also seemed to point at unfair means being adopted by certain teams.

A few other players have also spoken, on the condition of anonymity, about how the KRIPL Trophy was already at the Antilia – the home of the Ambanis – even before the group stages had ended. One player, reluctant to be named, said, “If the trophy was already there, was there ever any doubt about which team was going to win it? How do you think they’d have shipped the trophy to some other city amidst this lockdown?”

A Reliance spokesperson commenting on this development said, “Our victory was spotless! We have noted that the allegations seem to point at our team. But we are not worried. Mukesh bhai has already personally reached out to Mr. Mishra and Mr. Neesham. We have complete faith in the power of money! We are hopeful that things will go quiet very soon.”

Amidst all the controversy though, one set of fans who have been disappointed the most, yet again this year, are the followers of Royal Challengers Bangalore. RCB has, again, kept up the annual summer tradition of disappointing their fans.

A few days back, when actress Anushka Sharma had tweeted a picture of hubby Virat Kohli during the crunch game against CSK, RCB seemed on track for a play-off berth. In the picture Virat can be seen concentrating on a book titled “Detox Your Ego”. But they ended up losing the game and that sparked-off a run of 6 consecutive losses that put paid to whatever little hopes RCB had of changing their fate.

Captain Virat Kohli, however, was quick to come to his team’s defense. Taking a veiled dig at the BCCI, in a series of tweets the RCB captain questioned the timing of the tournament and lashed out at the paper quality of the book sent to him.

However, Virat also accepted that the team management was partly to blame for the dismal showing.

Despite RCB’s and Virat’s abject failure in KRIPL this year, team sources confirm that Virat is expected to stay on as captain even in the book cricket edition. A spokesperson said, “We don’t have anyone better at this moment. KL Rahul could have been an option, he looks studious and nerdy, am sure he’s good with books. But he was picked up by Punjab in the last auction!”

The RCB captain, though, has received support from unexpected quarters for his comment about the quality of books provided by BCCI. Echoing Virat’s sentiment, KKR captain Dinesh Karthik said, “I can’t say he is wrong. Some of the books we had to play with were indeed under prepared – either the pages were damp and moist, or the quality of printing on some pages was bad, leading to a lot of dead balls.”

Karthik also said, “What helped us do well was, this year too we had a very young team. A lot of the boys are still studying for graduation or CAT, so they are still in constant touch with books. Even some of our older fellows, people like Nikhil Naik who have no future in the game, are studying for their 1-year MBA.”

Further explaining the reasons behind KKR’s strong showing, their star performer Shubman Gill said, “I don’t read textbooks, they are difficult to understand. I usually read guidebooks, the question paper banks, the solved question paper type books. They are usually published by local press and have very bad paper. I think that’s why I could do so well! My fingers are used to opening pages of this quality.” Gill, one of Indian cricket’s most talented youngsters, is only 20 and is still studying for his BA degree.

Regular IPL table-toppers CSK too had a relatively lean season this year, as they narrowly lost out to KKR in the Eliminator. Needing 39 to win off the last 3 overs, MS Dhoni tried, like he always does, to take the game to the last over and offered a lot of dots by opting to not open his book. But when he finally did, Dhoni who was playing with a helicopter-shaped board book, couldn’t last long and perished when he opened page 20.

Meanwhile, celebrated broadcaster Harsha Bhogle has got himself into trouble with the BCCI, for tweeting not-so-encouraging words about the KRIPL. Reports suggest that the BCCI has taken strong exception to Bhogle’s tweet and has terminated his commentary contract with immediate effect.

Despite Bhogle’s apprehension though, the KRIPL has fetched unexpected viewership numbers over the last 10 days. The games, shown live on HotStar and JioTV, drew an estimated average of about 15 million concurrent viewers every evening.

The tournament had kicked off with a gala opening ceremony on April 10th, with all the team owners, including Mrs. Nita Ambani, live streaming performances from their own homes.