Sorry Sushant!

“Sache dost wohi hote hain, jo achchhe waqt me aapki bajaate hain, aur jab mushkil waqt aata hai to wohi chhichhore aapke darwaaze par khade nazar aate hain .. “

- Anni from Chhichhore

And yet, he couldn’t find one such sachcha dost who he could talk to in his mushkil waqt. A friend who could have patiently listened to him and made him feel good about himself again. A friend who could have made the morning of 14th June very different for Sushant Singh Rajput.

For someone whose blog is replete with spoof and satire, it is not easy for me to be writing two consecutive somber and pensive posts about recently departed souls. If you have read my post on Irrfan, you’d know that it came from a feeling of personal loss – right from the core of my heart.

Am I an equally ardent admirer of Sushant Singh Rajput? I am not. No one can be, given the size and sheer quality of Irrfan’s body of work. But, from whatever little I have seen, Sushant looked to me to be a very promising and capable performer. In all honesty, he probably didn’t give himself enough time to build a sizeable repertoire of films that would elevate him to the level of some of the greats of the industry. If Irrfan had graduated summa cum laude from the school of acting, Sushant was still pretty much a sophomore!

But it is not his qualities as an actor that I have set out to write about today. Neither his body of film and TV work. This post is about something far more critical, yet far less talked about. In his death Sushant managed to raise, for the umpteenth time, the very important matter of mental health not getting as much sunlight as it deserves! How many more deaths will it need for us to realize that mental health needs more candour? That it calls for more unashamed conversations?

When will we realize that this is one monster that doesn’t discriminate? Rich or poor, man or woman, young or old – we are all equally susceptible. The great Satyajit Ray had beautifully summed it up in a song he wrote way back in 1969.

দুঃখ কিসে হয়? What makes one sad?

অভাগার অভাবে জেনো শুধু নয়। It’s not just the poor and their hardship

যার ভাণ্ডারে রাশি রাশি One who has boundless wealth

সোনা দানা ঠাসা ঠাসি One who has abundant gold and jewels

তারও হয়। He too can suffer

জেনো সেও সুখী নয় Even he isn’t always happy

How long before we realize that it is just an ailment, like diarrhoea and influenza are as well? That mental health sufferers are not crazy? That mental illness is not a personal failure? The fact of the matter is that most of us, at some point or the other, have felt depressed, low and disillusioned with our lives. As if a herd of Dementors were feeding on all our joy and happiness and pushing us further into decay and despair. And just like our body produces antibodies to combat pathogens, some of our minds succeed in conjuring up a Patronus that drives the Dementors away, while some others may need medical help.

There is nothing wrong about it. There is nothing weak about it. There is nothing unnatural about it. And there definitely is nothing humiliating about it.

In fact, one of our biggest failings as a society has been this stigmatization of mental illnesses and of people who openly talk about them. If you know someone who is seeing a therapist or has a mental health disorder, please try talking to that person. Because that helps. Try listening to him, lend him an ear without being judgmental. Because that helps too. What does not help, however, is you talking to others about the person in hushed tones while exchanging nervous glances!

Mental illnesses can be cured, but the stigma surrounding it cannot be!

Those of us who have not endured mental illness will not have the slightest idea what its victims are going through. For that we need more people to come out and share their experiences and battles. And that will happen only once the stigma goes away. More people will step forward, openly discuss their problems and seek medical help. Till that day, though, I fear that there will be many more lives lost to the Dementors.

What also doesn’t help is the madness that is currently happening on social media. Playing the nepotism card and blaming the high and mighty of the industry for an individual’s suicide is, frankly, disrespectful to the departed soul. I feel it trivializes the whole matter, and Sushant deserved much better than this!

Sushant didn’t leave a note. Maybe he was struggling with his finances. Or maybe he had other personal problems. What do we know? And if Sushant had wanted us to know, he’d have left a note for us. He did not. So, we have no idea what was going through his mind when he took the step that he did. And that should leave absolutely no space for further conjecture. Because gossip is the literature of the poor.

Am I trying to suggest that there is no nepotism in the industry? I am not, because I don’t know! I am as far removed from the glitz and glamour of Mumbai as Karan Johar is from sounding sensible in his frivolous and pointless talk show! But honestly, I feel now is really not the time for all this. Now is not the time to digress and talk about an over-rated director who has the attitude of an under-rated genius and dispenses unsolicited advice on everything under the sun. This is not about a superstar who can neither act nor drive. And neither is this the time to talk about anybody else from the so-called “Privilege Group” that people are going ballistic about on Twitter and Facebook.

Instead, can we focus on the more critical aspects for once?

A bright, cheerful and talented young man decided to end his life. Even if for a fleeting moment, an apparently professionally successful 34-year old considered dying easier than living. The least it should do is to make us think. It should make us more responsible, as individuals and as a society, about giving mental health the space that it has always deserved. Let us ensure that talking about mental illness is not a taboo anymore. Let us encourage more people to come out and openly discuss their problems. Let us lend them the helping hand that they need.

Let us collectively try and eradicate our apathy towards depression and mental health in general. Most health insurance companies in our country do not provide insurance cover to mental health related disorders. Can we change that? Can we, for once, take a stand as a society and try to ensure that there are no more Sushants?

Because that and only that, I feel, should be Sushant Singh Rajput’s true lasting legacy.

Not the repulsive debate that is raging right now on social media. I am certain that some of the users furiously typing away cuss words directed at the Bollywood elite right now are probably the same people who lap up every new episode of Koffee With Karan! Mind it, I hold nothing against people who do that (I know someone very close to me who loves watching KWK!). But this sudden resurrection of their collective conscience and this pointless Twitter war should not ossify into what becomes our memoir of a young actor’s lone and tragic battle against the enemies within.

Sushant, thank you for entertaining us. Today we are mourning not only your artistry but also the films that you never made. We are truly ashamed that we could not help you when you were fighting those monsters. All alone! I apologize on behalf of all of us, including those who are shedding crocodile tears and posting croc-tweets (if ever there was a word like that!) saying they’ve learnt their lesson.

But now you have Irrfan up there for company, learn from him. Enhance your craft. Maybe do a film or two with him, captivate the angels like you always captivated us. And now that you are light years away from this big bad world, I hope you do find your happiness!

Rest in peace brother!